


give me til morning (so i can say goodbye)

by PulsarNyx



Category: High Rollers DnD (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Christmas Special, F/M, Goodbyes, Responsible Sad Dad Kalus Starbane, Romantic Fluff, no beta we die like croakatoa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28187124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PulsarNyx/pseuds/PulsarNyx
Summary: siaska spends one last night with kalus before she breaks the christmas alternate reality
Relationships: Siaska/Kalus Starbane
Kudos: 9





	give me til morning (so i can say goodbye)

**Author's Note:**

> because the holiday special made me feel feelings (TM) and i needed to write about it or i would explode

They never argued about the surname.

Siaska ~~was~~ is a goddess, a true Divine, a child of magic and the universe itself. Kalus is simply a man who made himself just adjacent to Divine. They both knew there was no way she would take the name Valkyrian, nor the self-given title of Starbane. 

And yet here she was. In a poorly-imagined mansion, maids and butlers and servants abound, and apparently a full country of misty-faced subjects, all addressing her as Lady Valkyrian.

She pondered this as she flipped through yet another (completely empty) book lining one of the bookshelves in _their_ bedroom. She giggled slightly at the thought. The room - lavish, well-decorated, and lived-in - was antithetical to the Kalus that ~~she knew an~~ ~~she knew and lov~~ she knew, always going on about "using up resources they could be using for the war effort" and "always preferring the feeling of a cot over those soft feather beds".

She'd missed him.

As if he'd felt that brief twang of sadness, Kalus himself walked into the room, wearing a fresh jumper and khakis (because of course he would sleep in those), his long black hair tied up in a ponytail. She smiled at him warmly until she saw the look in his eyes.

Cold. Blank. A twinge of fear, which he'd always hidden well. The look he'd given her when she told him her plans for Hadar.

"So you know then."

Without a word, Kalus sat on the bed next to her, careful not to touch her, arms clasped over his stomach. 

"Yes."

She had to turn away. "How much do you remember?" she asked flatly.

"Enough. I'm an emperor. You're a goddess. We need to kill the Red Star before it eats the universe."

"Good enough."

Silence. Siaska wanted to reach over, to see his face, to touch him so _badly_ but she just _couldn't_.

"You hurt my children."

"Siaska, please..."

"No." She turned towards him now, tears begin to well up in her eyes. "You could have just relocated them. You were after the World Engine, not them. You didn't have to hurt them."

"Your _children_ tried to kill me," he said drily, face set in a grim expression. "You and your titans told them I was coming, that I would gut their world and leave them for dead."

"And you did."

"I would have relocated them! I told them about Hadar, that I could use Aerois to stop it!"

"And how many would you have been willing to kill in the process, Starbane?" She was shouting now, the tears streaming down her face. ~~Kalus~~ Starbane stared her down, grim determination contorting his features. "How many would you have killed if they didn't want to leave?"

"If it would mean that Hadar would be defeated, than as many as necessary. No more."

"And what if it weren't Aerois? What if it were Gideon Prime you had to sacrifice? Would you kill everyone there to stop Hadar?"

He hesitated only for a moment, enough to process what she had just said, his face never changing from that stoic gaze. "In a heartbeat."

"You would kill millions of innocent people!"

"It's what needs to be done."

"Yet you wouldn't let me kill him myself?"

His expression darkened. "You would die. Hadar would rip you apart."

"And the universe would be safe!"

"But you wouldn't be around to see it!"

"It's just one life, Kalus!"

"It's your life, Siaska!"

"I'm not as important as all the life in the universe!"

"You are to me!" His arms shot forward, almost on instinct, grasping onto her shoulders with the strength of a drowning man, his face suddenly twisted with worry. "I can't give you up, not when there's a chance we can stop all of this without you dying!"

They sat like that for a while, Kalus holding her at arms length while she stared at him in shock. He turned away briefly to compose himself, his face carefully neutral. He drew her in closer, elbows bending at a ninety degree angle. She didn't resist, turning her body slightly to move closer.

When he spoke again, it was gentle, more hesitant.

"I don't want to spend the last night we have together fighting." He bit his lip. "Not again."

"Neither do I," she said quietly. She placed a hand gently on his leg and waited for him to look her in the eye. Eventually, he did.

"Tonight," she started slowly. "we're not an emperor and a goddess. Tomorrow, you'll go back to your conquest and I will return to my Cradle. But tonight, we're just a human couple, who've just had very busy days, and would like to spend the night cuddled up next to each other."

He didn't respond. She slowly put her hands around his core and leaned to the side, bringing him onto the bed. She nestled closer to him, wrapping around his stiff shoulders and pulling him closer.

"Is that alright, sweetheart?"

He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath before returning her gentle embrace. "Of course, my star."

They laid like that for a long while. Siaska could feel her arms tighten, almost involuntarily, pulling Kalus to her chest. He smelt nothing like she'd remembered, a warm mix of cinnamon and nutmeg replacing the acrid scent of ozone and arcane residue that had always surrounded him before. All things considered, it was a considerable improvement.

"Can I kiss you?"

She felt him clam up underneath her grip as she breached the question, his eyebrows raising slightly before an honest-to-Divines smile appeared on his face.

"I feel like I should be asking you that."

* * *

Everyone was acting weird.

Like, really weird.

Some of the soldiers woke up with headaches and temporary paralysis. Maximilian seemed more protective than usual (which was saying something). She heard from one of the guards that Zarkeera called Kalus "master" in their last meeting and he'd almost slapped her.

So it was just the icing on the cake of a really weird day when her dad came to have lunch with her.

"I'm sorry."

Valla looked up from her... space food? Whatever, sure. She looked up from her space food at her father. The emperor. Who was currently conquering her home planet. And also eating.

He sighed. "I haven't exactly been the best father to you, Valla. I've neglected you, forced you into a role you don't want to fill, and am trying to conquer your home. I'm looking to fix this situation, one way or another."

Silence. She stood up, took her empty plate, and walked toward the sink, pausing a few steps away and looking at him quizzically. "This seems wildly out of character for you. What exactly is your game here?"

Another sigh. "I just want to make things right between us, Valla. Whatever that means."

Valla nods. "Can I have some time to think about this?"

"All the time you need."

She nods again and leaves her father at the table.

Yep, _super_ weird.


End file.
